CONVERSATIONS AT MY CASTLE

Little Son: (sitting on the toilet in my bathroom with the door open) Mommy, do you know what a poo-flopper is?
Me: (with the blank stare of "WTF") No, baby, what is a poo-flopper?
Little Son: (raising his little narrow ass up from the toilet and doing a back and forward motion)
It's when your poo won't come out sometimes and you have to flop your butt back and forth to get it to drop out!
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Me: (waking my husband from a sound sleep) Honey, I'm awake, roll over so you won't snore so badly.
King Hubby: Okay (proceeds to roll over)
Me: Oh, baby, guess who died yesterday? I forgot to tell you.
King Hubby: (roused by curiousity and is now leaning up on one elbow) Who?
Me: (glad it's dark, because I am grinning like a Cheshire cat) William LaPrise.
King Hubby: William LaPrise?
Me: Yeah, he was really famous for writing the "Hokey Pokey".
King Hubby: Damn, really.
Me: Yeah, everything went off without a hitch until they put him in the coffin. Then, they put his left leg in...
(Laughter ensues mainly from me because I am a sick bitch like that.)
King Hubby: Sick bitch!
**Aah! He knows me so well!**
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Little Son: What's tomorrow?
King Hubby: Saturday...yeah...no school...no work! Didn't you see Mommy do her Happy Friday dance this morning?
Litte Son: No. What is the Happy Friday dance?
King Hubby: Well...it looks kinda like your poo-flopper.
Me: (Giving deadly stink eye)

This is the shit dreams are made of...Love,
The Queen