January 10, 2008
Read the following:
NEW YORK - Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store Tuesday and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.
David J. Dalaia and James O’Hare pushed Virgilio Cintron’s body from the Manhattan apartment that O’Hare and Cintron shared to Pay-O-Matic, about a block away, spokesman Paul Browne said witnesses told police.
“The witnesses saw the two pushing the chair with Cintron flopping from side to side and the two individuals propping him up and keeping him from flopping from side to side,” Browne said.
The men left Cintron’s body outside the store, went inside and tried to cash his $355 check, Browne said. The store’s clerk, who knew Cintron, asked the men where he was, and O’Hare told the clerk they would go and get him, Browne said.
A police detective who was having lunch at a restaurant next to the check-cashing store noticed a crowd forming around Cintron’s body, and “it’s immediately apparent to him that Cintron is dead,” Browne said.
The detective called uniformed New York Police Department officers at a nearby precinct. Emergency medical technicians arrived as O’Hare and Dalaia were preparing to wheel Cintron’s body into the check-cashing store, Browne said. Police arrested Dalaia and O’Hare there, he said.
No foul play is suspected in Cintron’s death.
Now, I have always wished that I had gone into law enforcement like my brother and my daddy. But clearly the Most Gracious God knew that I would be a total fuck up. Had I been that cop, there would have been some serious questions asked and some serious discussion.
Question 1) What the fuck are you two dumbasses thinking?! For 355.00 you took a dead man on a walk to commit check fraud! DAY-UM! I mean you gotta think about this shit. You got a corpse dressed and in a chair to roll through the streets of New York in the middle of the fucking day. What is not making sense here?
Question 2) Did ya ever consider using bungie cords to secure Mr. Stiffy’s body? Bungie cords are useful little items. Especially when you have a poor dead bastard failing around like a limp noodle on a fork. Securing the body, (just for future reference) tends to be a little less conspicuous than you two fucktards trying to keep him upright in an office chair, which leads me to:
Question 3) Couldn’t you guys find a friend that owns a real honest to goodness wheelchair? I mean come on! An office chair. Brilliant!!! No, well, you’re wheeling around Mr. Stiffy, your DEAD room mate, you could have hit some other buddy in the leg, ass, pecker…requiring him the use of a wheelchair for at least a couple of days. Oh, you guys are tough enough to do that. You just reenacted fucking Weekend at Bernies. Then you just dump his ass out and take Mr. Stiffy for a stroll in style.
Question 4) Just what the hell were you going to do when you got Mr. Stiffy inside the check cashing store? Have you got fishing line tied to his jaw? Is one of you a ventriloquist? How was this convo going down? Shit!!!
Bored? Down? Depressed? Look at the latest fucktard news and just say DAY-UM!!!
Later…The Queen
Read the following:
NEW YORK - Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store Tuesday and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.
David J. Dalaia and James O’Hare pushed Virgilio Cintron’s body from the Manhattan apartment that O’Hare and Cintron shared to Pay-O-Matic, about a block away, spokesman Paul Browne said witnesses told police.
“The witnesses saw the two pushing the chair with Cintron flopping from side to side and the two individuals propping him up and keeping him from flopping from side to side,” Browne said.
The men left Cintron’s body outside the store, went inside and tried to cash his $355 check, Browne said. The store’s clerk, who knew Cintron, asked the men where he was, and O’Hare told the clerk they would go and get him, Browne said.
A police detective who was having lunch at a restaurant next to the check-cashing store noticed a crowd forming around Cintron’s body, and “it’s immediately apparent to him that Cintron is dead,” Browne said.
The detective called uniformed New York Police Department officers at a nearby precinct. Emergency medical technicians arrived as O’Hare and Dalaia were preparing to wheel Cintron’s body into the check-cashing store, Browne said. Police arrested Dalaia and O’Hare there, he said.
No foul play is suspected in Cintron’s death.
Now, I have always wished that I had gone into law enforcement like my brother and my daddy. But clearly the Most Gracious God knew that I would be a total fuck up. Had I been that cop, there would have been some serious questions asked and some serious discussion.
Question 1) What the fuck are you two dumbasses thinking?! For 355.00 you took a dead man on a walk to commit check fraud! DAY-UM! I mean you gotta think about this shit. You got a corpse dressed and in a chair to roll through the streets of New York in the middle of the fucking day. What is not making sense here?
Question 2) Did ya ever consider using bungie cords to secure Mr. Stiffy’s body? Bungie cords are useful little items. Especially when you have a poor dead bastard failing around like a limp noodle on a fork. Securing the body, (just for future reference) tends to be a little less conspicuous than you two fucktards trying to keep him upright in an office chair, which leads me to:
Question 3) Couldn’t you guys find a friend that owns a real honest to goodness wheelchair? I mean come on! An office chair. Brilliant!!! No, well, you’re wheeling around Mr. Stiffy, your DEAD room mate, you could have hit some other buddy in the leg, ass, pecker…requiring him the use of a wheelchair for at least a couple of days. Oh, you guys are tough enough to do that. You just reenacted fucking Weekend at Bernies. Then you just dump his ass out and take Mr. Stiffy for a stroll in style.
Question 4) Just what the hell were you going to do when you got Mr. Stiffy inside the check cashing store? Have you got fishing line tied to his jaw? Is one of you a ventriloquist? How was this convo going down? Shit!!!
Bored? Down? Depressed? Look at the latest fucktard news and just say DAY-UM!!!
Later…The Queen
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